I AM SO SORRY...:(

Salam,

In life..we all have to make decision right??same goes to me..TODAY I have make a huge decision that I am sure many people will hate it..but anyhow I have to do it..I can't postponed it anymore..I always feel down and feel bad when i have to do the right decision in my life..i seek for people's advices and opinions but at last I still have to make my own decision..I become a COWARD when its almost the time for me to finally really tell the final result of my decision..(ok..time to cry..)..The stress in my head make me crazy and I always make other people involve in my problems..WHY must i make other people involve in my problems???WHY they should feel the stress that i felt??WHY must I make other people suffer with my problems??I always ask myself these question..but I don't have the answer..I really need support from friends and family..I really need opinions and useful advices for my problems..I feel BAD when i hurt someone's heart..they are innocent..but WHY??WHY I have to be so cruel and hurt their feelings??I FEEL SO DAMN BAD!!!I AM A BAD GIRL!!!(seriously)..what I need is someone to UNDERSTAND me..I don't like people to force and what so ever..I like the way I am right now..I don't want to change my self because they want me to..but I don't know whether they understand or not..then at the end..I have to..HAVE TO hurt their feeling for my own sake..or otherwise I am the one who will hurt at the end..I don't want to be hurt anymore cause IT'S HURT...I need time to be alone..and I ONLY need my friends and family..aarrgghh...I AM CONFUSED..what the hell had happen to me??am i crazy??or what??OWH GOD..PLEASE MAKE ME GO THROUGH ALL THE CHALLENGES IN MY LIFE EASILY AND FULL WITH "KEIMANAN" IN MY HEART..and to my dear and lovely friends and family who read this post,please pray for me..pray so that i can move on my life with happy and cheerful life..i am begging..
BTW..my lovely family,u guys help me a lot in making the right decision..and my friends that willing to hear my problems and give me advices,thank you very much..i love u guys a lot..I will try to help u guys if u guys need help ok..just say it and i'll try my best for u guys..
Finally..I want to say I AM SO SORRY to my dear kecik cause I have to leave facy..I really can't go with it..I hope u will enjoy all the camps..I luv u..I will support u from behind..
That's all for today..and i want to sleep cause my brain is so tired to think so many things..I'll write later..
sekian,wassalam..
xoxo,
nana